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ewz adores you…Chelsea Handler

November 20, 2009

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sigh...

For those of you who have yet to be enlightened, allow me to enlighten you: Chelsea Handler is the future voice of the pop-culture world. If it was up to ewz, Lady Gaga would be our president, and Chelsea Handler would be our Secretary of State. Smart, sexy, sassy, and self-proclaimed bitch, Handler is the new , cynical, face of late night talk shows.

The daughter of a Jewish father and Mormon mother, Handler”s already published best-selling books about her promiscuity (‘My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands‘) and alcoholism (‘Are you There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea?‘), and now she’s taking on late-night television, unashamedly talking about how much she loves drinking (Grey Goose, if you were wondering…), flubbing her lines and then laughing about it, and swearing like a sailor.

What’s great about her, though, is that she continues to get it. Now that The Daily Show is taking itself a bit too seriously, Chelsea Lately remains one of the few talk shows that point out their own ridiculousness alongside everyone else’s. She’s not afraid of telling her guests exactly what she thinks of them (to Aaron Carter “you’re cute….ish“), and manages to regularly put her foot in her mouth about Mexicans (specifically immigrant Mexican midgits, such as her assistant Chuey, one of the few who can hold his own against her), Jews, and of course, black people (“No honey, once you go black you come running back, trust me“).

Here are our favourite Chelsea Handler moments:

1. Chelsea interviews Jordan (aka Katie Price):

This was a gold mine of an interview for Chelsea. In her words, “the worse the guests are, the more pathetic they are, the funnier they are.”

Our favourite exchange:

Katie Price: “I use the name Katie Price and Jordan – don’t ask me why.”

Chelsea Handler: “Honey I’m not going to ask you anything ‘why’ anymore. It’s your business what you want to do. You can go live with your horses and your kids and get Botox – I don’t give a shit.”

2. Chelsea tears Perez Hilton to shreds:

Ah Perez Hilton, celebrity gossip blogger, meet Chelsea. Let the fight begin.

Our favourite exchange:

Perez Hilton: “In my book I mention how you’re fucking the Head of ‘E!’.”

Chelsea Handler: “First of all, we call it ‘porking’ and ‘love-making’. Second of all, that’s not a secret. But wait, what does it say about the fact that I’m having sex with the Head of ‘E!’, by the way, we haven’t been havinga  lot of sex lately.”

Perez Hilton: “Well one of my mottos is that you’ve got to give head to get ahead.”

Chelsea Handler: “Well that’s just stupid. That’s not how you get a job. If you had a tv show, you’d know.”

As the first female face of late night talk show culture, Chelsea Handler, ewz adores you!

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 9, 2010 6:05 am

    Nice post. errwhateverz.com deserves an award.

  2. May 25, 2010 4:22 am

    Hey Chelsea, I am a conservative, VietNam combat veteran, in great shape physically, well at least I can walk upright without falling over, haha, and mentally, well there are several points of view on that one, so its like global warming, it depends on your politics. I Don’t know your politics but since you are Jewish(you have that really cute look only Jewish women have), and most Jews here are opposite from Israelis so I guess you are a democrat like the rest of the leftists in Hollywood, it is fashionable you know to hate our country and its laws, but I digress, I think you are the funniest, most quick whitted, best entertainer person, and since you are a woman, gorgeous and sexy and adorable all at the same time. I love you and your show. I hope you dont break my conservative American People loving heart. Dave PS: in Ocala, Fl. after 30 years in California, from Malibu to San Diego. I absolutely love Ca and miss it, and I left only 6 months ago.

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